Some punk loser rants on about life in general (not the MxPx album).
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Sunday, August 24, 2003
a TAS guide to the new 'hands down' music video. (it's R rated kids, so ask your scary uncle with the lazy eye before reading, okay?)
Seeing the new 'hands down' video hasn't been seen by most of the people who read this blog, I thought I would do an in depth analysis (hee hee that word has ANAL in it!) of it. It's really funky, camp and makes me want to prace and write haikus about the colour pink. Here's one...
the colour pink
isn't very manly but
it makes me prance about!
or
Dashboard confessional
are so funky and cool
double time groove!
(that little joke's for the people who have seen the new dvd)
But besides that, as I said in my last post, the design is really cool, and deserves notice. I wonder who did it? (if you know, call me now on 1800 I-PRANCE or my old number 1800-HAPPI-BACON!-WA) I have taken some bad quality screen shots for you too "oooh" and "ahh" and possibly "oh, harder, harder!" at (dirty little cretins!) and to basically give you some kind of idea what the hell I'm talking about*
*knowledge of what the hell Cara is talking about may not occur. Reading sentences that begin with asterikses may induce vomiting.That may not be the correct spelling of asterikses.
Okay, here we go. (im sorry if the pics aren't in the same order as in the video, bite me)
The video begins with some fluro swirly lines giving me an epileptic fit and reminding me of the funky screen saver that comes up on the emac at school. Then there is tonal dropout Chris, and his tonal dropout friends (i'm not sure it they are really totally tonal dropouts, but as far as I can tell, they are, my copy of the video is very very shizen). A tonal dropout isn't as cool as a highschool dropout, but from the looks of things just as many illegal drugs are involved. That is, if there were a drug that brought on much pastel colours and a love of the colour pink. (don't write to me telling me there is such a drug, I don't wanna know. Well, maybe I do, but I probably can't afford it on roadhouse wages. Viva la tragic artist whining!)
Chris screams in terror as something pink attacks him. Sorry buddy, but that's just the beginning.
in the first chorus thereare some funky leaf things. i like the leaves. They have the double time groove. BOM to the F U N K!
Leaves attack Chris and Mike, much like those other evil plants we all know and love, triffids. See, one's whacking Chris in the eye, he'll be blind, or worse, only able to see pinkish colours in the light spectrum! Back you prancing flora fiends!
One of my favourite things in the clip is the cool hair. It's so vectorific!
even the hair is pink! Okay, let me just say now, that I actually like the colour pink in moderation. Katie uses it well, and it's pretty cool at making something feminine straight away design-wise. I just find it hilarious how many guys will freak at seeing so much pink in three minutes. Well, boys, like Steven Biko said, "you're more pink than white".
there are then some curly things and clouds. I like the curly things and clouds.
But Chris, wont they clash with your Emohawk?
During the video Chris does quite a bit of windmilling. Something I've never seen him do before, but looks really cute and fits if with the arguably eightiesness of the clip.
I can't exactly remember what happens next (the flashbacks haven't started yet) but I think it might be this bit. My sister reckons this bit looks like he's spitting, but I think the stuff flying around looks much more like something else. Yes, I am speaking of trouser snake venom, otherwise known as semen. Hey, I always thought music videos were a bit of a wank!
Chris looks less than exstatic about the projectile of manjuice flying towards him. can anyone here say softcore porn?
There was also a funky stereo. Considering how much I love old school stereos, this was very 'Giiii!' worthy
This was one of my other favourite bits because, well, it reminds me much of Bec talking about visual orgasms in class
Chris making a facial expression every screaming fan girl could only dream of making him do.
Scott's bass gets attacked by the pink things from the start of the clip. Ouch
There was also this orange bit, where I think chris looks like god. (this one isn't in order)
"thou shalt not make fun of my emohawk! it makes me look taller!"
So there you have it. Lots of pink and puple and blue and bad rock moves. You don't even need to see the clip now. It's nowhere near as good as this analysis. Begone. Away now, I say!
Oh yeah, I give this video five screaming emo boys.
